Why Me

This past week was a good reset button for me. Albeit, I hadn’t intended to push it just yet! After traveling to Tampa, FL for work I had planned to visit my parents for dinner and then head further South for another work trip. By the time I arrived to their house however, I was a heavy footed, bleary eye “patient”, struggling to make it to the couch. By the next morning my mom was driving me to the emergency care center nearby.

Given that my system is in a state of constant inflammation, be it acute (Celiac = stomach distress) or delayed (Dermatitis Herpetiformis = skin distress), it comes as no surprise that a simple cold bug infected my chest in record time, leading to difficulty breathing. I went from sounding human to sounding like a raspy goose overnight!

The frustration as I lay comatose on the coach for the next two days was palpable. I was already struggling with painful stomach cramps and blistering skin rashes daily,hourly even. Now this…

My parents continued to take excellent care of me, which I was exceedingly thankful for. And my work was supportive, calling to check in and make sure I was still alive (and coming back!).

But it was when I returned home that I asked “why me” and not in the way you might think. As I sorted through the stack of mail that had piled up while I was gone, I noticed a card. It was unexpected, as most personal mail is these days, and from an employee of mine. I read through the note where she shared she was praying for me, how she knew we were only given challenges we could overcome and how much she admired that no matter what I always had a smile on my face, even when it cracked skin to do so. It made me think.

If I was given this challenge, I wanted to rise to the occasion. I wanted to overcome it and be the positive force she thought she saw. Why do we go through something if not to help others? I couldn’t make it most days without the support groups online that chatted with each other, shared their experiences and encouraged each other. And I definitely couldn’t make it without the bloggers sharing recipes and restaurants willing to risk liability to create some tasty options for those of use stuck in the celiac boat. Most days I feel like I could do without my doctors since they seem to be limited in their knowledge, but truth be told, even they give me some comfort.

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So, with that mindset I went through the next few days eager to see the challenge ahead of me. How could I help someone else? What could I learn? Why was I given this disease? I know everyone suffers from something, and everyone has a story. But don’t stop at asking “why me” with sadness or despair, take some time to ask “why me” with a focus on the positive. You may never know who is watching you go through your journey. But it doesn’t mean your life and your strength is going unnoticed. So, go ahead and ask, why YOU?